Secret Devotions
by Purple Wolf Girl
Summary: Ever since thier darkened kiss, the two lovers have been wondering if it really meant anything. Was it just a play put on to get them out of there, or was it really what they both wanted? When the monk gains courage, he asks. AangxKatara. ONESHOT.


Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar or any related shows. Matter of fact, I just don't own any shows.

Summary: Ever since thier darkened kiss, the two lovers have been wondering if it really meant anything. Was it just a play put on to get them out of there, or was it really what they both wanted? When the monk gains courage, he asks. AangxKatara. ONESHOT.

Author's Note: Hi! Well, this is my first Avatar piece. Hope you like it. But I warn all of you that have not yet seen the newest episode "Cave of two lovers" will be reading a spoiler. But if you don't mind that fact, go nuts.

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Today that fact dawned on him. It should have been a good fact. Maybe even a pleasing and satisfying fact. But it just wasn't. When they kissed...did she really mean it? Did she even _want_ to kiss him? Or was it just so that their path would light and they'd be able to make it out of that cave? Now, he almost wished that they had stayed stranded in that cave. Sokka, Momo, and their new found temporary traveling guides had been sealed on the opposite side of the cave. That just left Katara and himself. Alone. The others couldn't hear them. Couldn't see them. Couldn't crush their moment. Aang had wanted to tell the water bender then and there, but its easier said than done. It just is. That alone time together could have been wonderful, but as it turned out, it was wonderfully terrible. Katara had suggested that they could kiss to get out, and he had stupidly and falsely said that she was the last person he'd ever want to do that with. She threw her hands up in the air and stormed off; growling at him over his un-thought out comment. Her hissy fit should have been a slight wake-up call for him. Why would she be so defensive over him not wishing to kiss her? Well, obviously she was taken back at the possible fact that he didn't want her. And it activated that raged side of her. Little did she know that her thought about his emotions was way off.

The Avatar was only twelve-years-old, but it didn't mean he couldn't fall in love. Just because Katara was older didn't mean she could always jump to conclusions. Aang had tried to make his crush as obvious as he could without shouting it to everyone. But..unfortunately, Katara was too busy with her water bending to notice how he blushed every time she said his name. However, Aang never noticed her attempts, either. So their scores were tied, and so were their affections. They couldn't cut the ropes that held their confusion and love together. If they could, their common sense about how they felt about each other would kick in. But they couldn't stop thinking about what happened in that cave...

...and it drove them insane. Their intentions about that kiss were good, but they ended up mixing emotions around in a cauldron of poisonous venom. The two had cluelessly insisted on kissing in order to escape the cave, and were now letting the question of if they meant it drown their every thought.

It could have just been a meaningless kiss. But..they felt that it was more than an act. Of course, they couldn't really tell. Their torch had gone out just as they traced lips, thus not being able to view one another's expression. They could have been grimacing or crossing their eyes with disgust, or maybe they were relaxed and joyful. That was what the kiss felt like; content and full of pure desire. But they couldn't really know, now could they? Being clue less in regard to how they felt about that kiss and each other, Aang and Katara had gone on like nothing had ever happened that day...or any day. But nothing that major had happened any other time, though. Katara had kissed him on the cheek one day, but kissing on the lips is a much more difficult decision and action. They didn't seem to have a terrible problem of moving closer, but the effect was rubbing off on them now. And it didn't feel as sweet as that moment.

Not even close.

It truly stung them inside not knowing that both of them really did want to participate in lip-locking. They'd never say it. But they knew that fact inside. And perhaps that was all that mattered now. But it couldn't hurt to admit it.

Being the Avatar, Aang was nervous of getting romantically involved with this girl. The Fire Nation could find their romance and take total advantage of it. They knew he would do anything, _absolutely anything_ to protect her...including letting them kill him. And then the world would fall to pieces because of a small, harmless relationship between two people. When Aang thought about it, it didn't seem worth it. But he craved to hear her say what he wanted her to and taste her lips again. So..maybe chances aren't bad things to take. That is, if you really know what you're up against. And he knew it very well. But letting Katara slip away seemed much worse than dying at this point. At least he would have the satisfaction of knowing he had been loved as more than a mere friend. If he really was destroyed, Katara's heart would be broken and the Fire Nation would...argh! Why was this so hard? Maybe being the Avatar wasn't as cool as he used to think. It seemed like more of a chore now, and this chore couldn't be cleaned with a broom.

Aang groaned miserably. "Why does this have to be so hard?" He shifted his grey eyes towards the brilliant sunset. It was comforting...and yet very disturbing. It seemed like a romantic view, and he wanted to drag Katara out there to watch it with him. In his conscience, it was the worst idea ever. Then his heart said it was a glorious opportunity. So...he was rather discouraged. Again, the Fire Nation. That was the big issue. But then there was his longing for her. He was being tossed over a fire, and if he made the wrong choice, he was going to receive the consequences. Lose Katara to some other random creep, or have his life end and have the world end as well. Well, either way he lost the game. He just didn't seem to have that winning ticket this time.

Aang glanced at himself in the reflection of a broken mirror. His life _felt _like a broken mirror right now. The pieces were scattered everywhere, and he couldn't seem to pick them up without cutting himself in the process. He felt like snakes were squirming around in his stomach, causing him discomfort. But the snakes would stay there until he figured out what the right choice was. He wasn't even thirteen yet, and he was faced with the issue of saving the entire planet. Great. That was another problem that ate at him. Aang wasn't having a very happy childhood. Who would when you're faced with all those things?

The air bender sucked in a deep breath. He _had_ to tell her. Now. Even if he didn't make the right choice, that wouldn't even matter to him anymore. He was doing everything imaginable for everyone else, and he felt it was about time he did something for himself.

Aang ran towards Katara as quickly as his legs would move. She was kneeling on the ground; waving her hand around gracefully as a small amount of water twisted gently with the movement of her fingers. The sun bounced off her tan skin, only making her look more appealing to Aang...and making talking to her even more difficult. Katara looked like an angel with the sun hitting her like that. Her chocolate toned hair blew in the light Spring breeze as her lips formed into a small grin. She seemed genuinely proud of her water bending, and maybe this was a great time for confessing to her. But her attention was sucked into her currant activity, and she didn't notice Aang approaching her.

He twitched an eyebrow; clearing his throat in addition. She looked up at him happily.

"Hi, Aang." Katara greeted sweetly.

"H-hi." Aang stuttered. "W-what are you doing?"

She shrugged. "Just practicing water bending."

"Oh." he blinked. "Can I...um..watch?"

"Sure."

He placed himself on the soft grass; smoothing it out carefully. Katara stared at him curiously. He was..quiet. Aang was never quiet. Unless something was bothering him, anyway. She let the small stream of cool, crystal liquid leap out of her control and fall to the ground. The dirt became mud as the water absorbed every dry grain of it. Katara traced a circle in the newly found mud; Aang glancing at her every now and then. If he'd really gotten this far, to sitting down next to her with nobody else around, then he should continue his quest. The girl's head tilted up, sending piercing pools of blue at him. The were the color of ice mixed with the ocean water, and they really did feel as cold as they looked. Her eyes were fierce and full of determination. She wanted to win this war, and it was pretty much written out in her eyes. Aang frowned. He usually liked having her looking at him, but now, he wanted to push that gaze away.

Katara raised an eyebrow. "Aang, what's wrong?"

"Uh..nothing." The monk sighed. She laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Aang, don't try to fool me. I know something is wrong." she persisted. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I...I did a couple minutes ago..." he trailed off.

"Then why can't you tell me now?"

He forced a grin. "That's a good question."

And it really was.

She let out a frustrated groan while Aang just stared at his feet nervously. She could tell something was wrong, but she couldn't really figure out what it was unless he talked. He didn't seem to be speaking very much this particular day, and she didn't grow fond of that. Sokka did, but it only increased his talking and babbling to make up for the Avatar's loss of words. So, that was probably good for Sokka, but bad for everyone else.

Momo jumped into Aang's lap suddenly. The boy stroked the creature's soft fur as it purred with glee. Katara twitched the corner of her mouth upward, but it never went up all the way. This was quite discouraging, and she really wanted to understand what was troubling him.

"I'm okay, Katara."

Her eyebrows shot up at his sudden, random response to the air.

"Really." He continued.

"But...seriously, why can't you tell me?"

"Because...it...it just isn't important right now. What is important is finding Roku and getting more advice, and even more important than that is defeating the Fire Nation before they cause any more damage." he breathed.

"You're my friend." Katara mewed. "Anything is important."

He gazed up at her with his saddened, grey eyes. "You really think that?"

"Of course." she assured him. "I just don't understand why you can't tell me what's wrong."

"It might be an advantage for the Fire Nation."

"W-what?"

"I don't really know if I should take that risk or not. One part of me says I should go for it, and the other part keeps telling me I'm a idiot." he muttered. "I'm not really sure which part I should go with."

"Go with whatever feels best."

They moved closer.

And he began to talk.

"Alright. Its just--OW!"

"Sokka!"

Aang rubbed the back of his head, and Sokka caught his boomerang innocently while whistling a Water Tribe song. Katara gave him a 'You idiot, I can't believe you just did that and now you'd better run.' glare. Sokka's expression was oddly similar to a dog's face when its about to sneeze.

"Oops." he gulped. "Sorry, Aang!"

"Why did you throw a boomerang at me?" Aang asked, slightly irritated.

"I was aiming for that bird thing, but I hit you instead."

Aang grimaced. "I look like a bird?"

"No." Katara growled. "Sokka has the brain of one, though." She turned her attention towards her brother. "Will you get out of here? Now?"

Sokka shrugged to himself and ran after yet another "Bird thing". The two were alone again, and the moment was perfect...aside from the new giant bump on the back of Aang's head.

"What were you saying?" Katara inquired.

"Er...nothing."

"Aang, you were about to say something, so just say it." she said impaitently.

"Its not an easy thing to say." he whispered. Katara grunted.

"Please tell me." she pryed. "I'm your friend. I promise I won't repeat it."

"But...that's the thing."

"What is?"

"The problem..."

"Yes?"

"...the problem is you."

"What?" she gasped. "What did I do wrong? D-did I say something?" Katara panicked.

"No!" Aang replied loudly. "I guess the problem isn't totally you. Its more me, and I really don't think I should-"

Katara put a slender finger to his lip, cutting off his words gently. "It is the cave, isn't it?" His eyes widened in shock.

"Huh?"

"The cave," she repeated. "When we...kissed."

"Uh-huh." he mumbled, amazed that she had figured that out on her own. But perhaps she was facing the same deliema.

"I've been giving it a lot of thought, too. And I have some questions I've been meaning to ask you. I just haven't been able to find the right time."

"I have questions for you, too."

"You go first."

"Nah, you can go."

"How about we ask at the same time?"

"Okay."

One.

Two.

Three.

"Did that kiss really mean anything to you?" they asked in unision.

Enormous blushes traced their faces. It was a pleasant suprise, and yet it felt deadly. Now his mouth had spilled those words out, and there was no possible way of taking them back. Katara blinked at him; not sure whether to kiss him or stay as far away as she possibly could. The kiss sounded tempting, but this was the Avatar, and it was playing close to fire. But if either of them were to become burned, they'd clean up the mess. And that was good. They couldn't ask for anything better, and the two felt alright with that.

Their eyes met affectionately, staring into endless lakes of color. The stare only drew them closer to each other. Aang felt a trickle of sweat drip down his face. It was a replay of that cave solution, only this wasn't to get out of a pile of rocks. This was get escape a pile of mistaken emotions. Katara put a hand on the back of his neck, tenderly pulling his face closer. He carefully put a tatooed hand on her back, the other hand joining that place as well. They both allowed deep breaths to leave their mouths...before meeting lips. It was simply amazing for both of them. They'd been waiting for this, and they were ready to become devoted as more than friends. Well, obviously friends don't kiss, so they were more than ready. Aang took a small risk of pulling her delicate frame closer to him, but she didn't seem to mind. The kiss was only for a brief moment, and Katara pulled away with a smile growing onto her features. Aang beamed. He'd finially gotten what he had wanted. It felt better than ever. Weights had been lifted off his shoulders that had been holding him down for a long time, and it felt good to lift that off.

Now they would be secretly devoted, only to love when they were positive that no one else would be around to crumble their emotions into dust. But as long as they had the memory of knowing they had been loved by someone they really felt for, that was okay with them. It was perfect, and some secrets are too good to tell.

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A/N: Well, there you have it. Its short, but I didn't really know what else to write. Oh, well. I tried. PLEASE REVIEW BUT ONLY NICE ONES! Thanks!

-PWG

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